How to Raise Kids Who Enjoy Movement
8 Strategies to Foster a Healthy Relationship with Exercise
I remember the day that I took my twins for their 5 year well check. The pediatrician, who knows what I do, looked at me and said, “They are so muscular! Are they working out with you?” I quickly replied, “Oh, not at all! I mean, sometimes they try to model a yoga pose, but they are strong because they play all the time.”
Now, at 6.5, they’re starting to show more interest in the specifics of what I do. They ask questions about exercise and what type of class I’m teaching when we go to the gym. Ultimately, my goal as a parent is to foster a lifelong love of movement and a healthy relationship with exercise. I thought I’d share some of the ways I’ve done this with my kids.
Lead by example - This likely goes without saying, but it’s difficult for a kid to adopt a habit that isn’t regularly modeled at home. The desire to set an example can also be a great catalyst to help parents move more. Instead of leading with a request to “go play” or “go for a walk”, tell your kids what you’re going to do and let them join in whatever way they want to. If you’re taking a walk around the neighborhood, and they want to skip along, ride their scooter, or push their “babies” like mine often do, let them. All movement is good movement. Since kids often respond well to routines, try to schedule your movement at the same time and day(s) each week. This will help you build the habit as well.
Don’t focus on the numbers - I once had a kid who was probably 10 or so come to a cycle class. His parents got him set up on the bike, then went and (I wish I was kidding) sat on the bench outside of the cycle studio. Once he was done, he walked out to find his parents and their first question was, “How many calories did you burn?” I told them that the metrics listed on the screen were an approximation based on an average adult (i.e. pointless) and that at his age, cycling for an hour was a great accomplishment. The last thing you want to do is subconsciously teach your child that they have to hit a performance goal in order for their movement to count.
Try all the things - There are plenty of adults who could benefit from branching out and mixing up their routine. Some kids are experts at trying something new: indoor rock climbing, paddle boarding, or tossing a frisbee. Let kids try any mode of activity that you deem age-appropriate and safe for them to do - not just the activities you want them to do. Let them try, fail, try again, and persist until they master the skill. Practicing being uncomfortable and intentionally doing the hard thing is a lesson that surpasses movement. It’s a critical life skill.
Let someone else be the teacher - If your child, who is trying all the new things, decides that they want to take their learning a step further, let someone else be their teacher. Whether you lack the skills or knowledge to teach them or you decide that your tolerance for their endless questions or skill mastery is slim (no judgement!), having someone else teach them the task can be an effective approach. This doesn’t require hiring a professional or paying for costly lessons. Ask around. You likely have someone in your inner circle who has a bigger kid who may want some coaching experience, a college student who’d like to earn a little money, or a grandparent/senior adult who would love the opportunity to impart some wisdom on an impressionable child.
Choose your words wisely - Whether you’re discussing nutrition or exercise, the way that you talk about movement and the way that you talk about yourself are key predictors of exercise adherence in your kids. Describing exercise as a task to be completed: “I have to go to the gym today”, instead of an opportunity: “I get to go to the gym today”, frames physical activity as a chore.
Similarly, when we describe eating a treat as something we have to “work off later” or as having a “cheat day”, exercise then becomes a punishment for bad behavior. When talking with my girls, I refer to food simply as energy and remove all moral association from the discussion. Some foods give us lots of energy (protein + complex carbs) and some foods don’t give us much energy (sugar). We then talk about what we want to do for the day and how much energy we need to feel strong. We never discuss weight, body size/composition or how our clothes fit. Ever. Every single time we talk about our bodies, we emphasize how strong we are and what our bodies are able to do.
Use gamification for adherence - Apps are highly effective because they turn movement into a game. Whether it’s checking a box on a color-coded habit tracker or earning a new badge in Garmin, gamification encourages us to keep a streak alive while working toward a goal.
Kids enjoy the same type of strategies, which can be easily implemented without a screen. Work together to create a sticker chart or a progress board that can be colored in. 1000 hours outside is a movement for families that focuses on connection in nature while working toward the goal of spending 1000 hours outside over the course of a year. You can also work together to set a reward for the completion of your goal. A new piece of equipment or a mini vacation can all be great options.
Keep play at the forefront - I fully understand that if you’re a parent, there’s a good chance you’re overstimulated ten or more times during the day. Finding the energy to play with your kids can be a challenge. However, active outdoor play is a highly effective way to improve mental health. Simply getting kids outside, letting them climb trees, create games, and spark imaginative play is the ultimate catalyst for movement.
This part is important: Play doesn’t mean sports. While play can certainly include a sport, not every kid wants to be an athlete. By becoming an active observer, you can learn so much about your child’s preferences while watching them play.
Scaffold the learning - In education, we build on learned concepts through a process known as scaffolding. Depending on the age of your child, allow some time for a skill to develop before introducing a new opportunity. Let their development be your guide. If you sense frustration with a new activity or skill, take a break and try something new.
I tell adults the same thing: exercise shouldn’t be an effort in suffering. Of course, we want parts of it to be challenging, but if we aren’t enjoying the process, frustration and discouragement will win. Taking a few days off turns into a week, then a month, and then half the year. Similarly, a child’s self-efficacy, or belief in themselves, can really flourish through movement. Lean into the learning process, guided by a strength based approach. Find the good and tell your child what they did well. Parental encouragement can be deeply impactful when trying something new - for big kids and little kids, alike.
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